If, while waiting at a crossroad for a green light, you have ever had enough time not
only to fall asleep but also to have a dream, you, probably, know a real meaning of a
most common expression I want to sleep. Maria Guerra wanted to sleep very badly...
and that night was in no way different from any of forty-eight others she had already
spent at that house...
Maria, her arms habitually crossed under a very impressive bust, was standing in her
nightgown, gently swaying back and forth like a very tired ghost in a yellow circle
formed by a soft light of an antique chandelier. Being afraid to fall asleep, Maria kept
her big eyes wide open, which gave her face a comic doll-like expression.
There was, definitely, something in her that attracted males much stronger than trivial
prettiness. This woman was the embodiment of kindness and domesticity. Looking at
her smiling, you could physically feel a pleasant odor of freshly starched clothes,
baked cookies, and a Russian borstch.
Maria was facing a bed, which, like everything else in that house, was big, old, and
corpulent. In the middle of it, under a thick quilted blanket, was something that could be
easily confused with a last century Hollowing decoration found in a local dump. This
object was Maria's patrona, Miss Medina, whose biggest life achievement was the
fact that she managed to preserve her cherry intact till a most respectful age of ninety-
seven. One of Medina's legs ( and it should be said that her legs were so skinny and
crooked that had become a main cause of the vomiting reflex among young male (and
occasionally female) sun-bathers at a number of East Long Island beaches during the
summer season of 1929) was coquettishly freed from under the blanket. The following
decades, obviously, did not add any extra attractiveness to this extraordinary piece of
a human anatomy. Her face looked out from a narrow embrasure formed between two
enormous downy pillows in yellowish cases and a blanket pulled up to her fairly hairy
chin. Two never blinking snake eyes full of deep contempt and hatred glistered at
Maria.
Thirsty!
“But Miss Medina, there is still plenty of water in your glass”, Maria said kindly. She
attempted to smile, but yawned instead.
“It is warm like a dead monkey's pee!” Miss Medina shouted out a not quite
comprehensible phrase, from a biological point of view, and stared at her aide with
insolence and disgust, “How about that?”
Maria sighed, and obediently staggered her way through an unlighted house to a
reefer to get some ice. During this procedure, the deadly-tired woman yawned at least
eleven times, stumbled upon various objects nine times, and lost her right sleeper
somewhere between a corridor and Miss Medina's room.
A few minutes later, in her little bedroom, Maria passionately embraced a pillow, and
in a matter of seconds a salty ocean breeze pleasantly blew all over her carelessly
smiling face, gracious sun rays gently touched her tanned skin, and golden sand of her
beautiful and faraway country warmed a tired body. A little white boat under a
triangular sail was heading towards a shore... “Hungry! Hungry!” - came from the
patrona's bedroom, and a little boat disappeared. In a minute Maria was standing by
Miss Medina's bedside again.
- Hungry!
“Miss Medina, but it is a quarter to three in the morning”, Maria said, swinging from
side to side, but her voice was as polite as always.
“Peanut butter jelly! Now!” A pair of snake eyes looked at Maria mockingly and
superciliously. “How about that?”
Maria bowed her head, and unsteadily drudged to the kitchen. Miss Medina observed
a reeling walk and hunched back of her aide with a visible pleasure. Bright colors
returned to old lady's otherwise permanently greenish cheeks, and she, reveling in her
glorious victory, could not help but explosively release a quite considerable amount of
gasses. After that, Miss Medina's throat produced a most strange croaking sound,
which, in her performance, was a substitution for a human laugh. During the next five
minutes, till Maria's return, the old lady was smiling triumphantly, displaying in the
process her perfectly preserved white, horse-like teeth.
“I don't feel like eating right now”, Miss Medina informed Maria voluptuously drawling
the vowel sounds. She watched a sandwich lying in the middle of a dish, with a most
vivid interest. The dish was slowly inclining in the hands of the dozing Maria, and Miss
Medina was waiting for a sandwich to smash down on a recently-scrubbed floor. To
the lady's greatest disappointment, it did not happen. Maria woke up and the dish
resumed its usual horizontal position. “Save it for tomorrow”, Miss Medina concluded,
and not looking at Maria with the grace and dignity of a medieval princess, waved her
chicken-paw hand in the direction of the door.
“Good night, Miss Medina.”
“There has been nothing good in the house since you were here, - the sweet old lady
mumbled.
Maria did not remember how she reached her bedroom, and she did not have any
dreams that time. She just closed her eyes and instantly found herself in the dark,
swinging up and down on a gigantic sea-saw. Soon, the woman started to feel warm
and quiet...
Fire! Help!
Maria jumped up and clinging to the wall as if she were a blind person moved towards
Miss Medina's voice. She walked as fast as she could but, nevertheless, it took time.
When Maria was approaching the patrona's door, a fat ginger cat smiled at her from a
dark corner of the room, gave her a wink, and to the woman's sincere surprise said a
dirty word in her native language. Maria understood that she really needed to have
some rest. In a moment, Maria entered her patrona's bedroom, and two flaming snake
eyes were drilling her face again.
“There is no fire, Miss Medina.”
“No. But it took you more than three minutes to come here.”
“Can I go now?”
“No”
“Why?”
“Hungry!”
“Miss Medina, it is a quarter past three. Why don't we wait till the morning?” Maria said
kindly.
“Pancakes! Now!” Miss Medina was looking at Maria with contempt and some sort of
a sick curiosity. Probably, a biology student would look at a lab frog this way.
Medina's lips started stretching in a snooty smile, “How about thaa...”
Miss Medina did not finish her favorite phrase. She simply had no chance, because
Maria tiredly picked one of the huge pillows up, and slowly covered Miss Medina's
head, shoulders, and chest with it. After that, she routinely and skilfully stroked the
pillow with her hand, smoothing the wrinkles, and firmly pressing it down right in the
middle where a small Miss Medina's head was supposed to be. Diligent Maria,
occasionally yawing, held it that way for a minute after Miss Medina's final kick. Then
she got up and headed to her room.
In less than a minute, Maria, was in her bed, smiling happily like a child. In her dream,
there was breeze, sun rays, and golden sand...and this time, a little white boat under a
triangular sail made it to a shore...